Fireworks

The fireworks in the night sky

Always remind me of you.

That first time I saw you

My heart bursted with joy.

But fireworks fade away after time.

Has my affection for you faded?

Or has it been here the whole time?

I still can feel it in my heart.

Your face slowly creeps into my mind

Every time I see those fireworks.

Would it be better if I could learn to hate you

If you bring me so much misery?

That torment is the sweetest pain of all,

Thinking of you all night

Wondering if you’re thinking of me.

And if you are…

Are we to be together?

Or are we to be apart?

What ever it is, we’ll know.

Either way, I’ll still be thinking of you.

Why is it that I still want to see you

After being with you all day?

When I close my eyes,

It’s as if you are right here.

Chocolate

Chocolate. One substance that can change my life.

The sweetness is unparalleled.

The texture is heavenly.

The body, the essence, is divine.

Chocolate leaves me with a feeling;

A feeling of pure happiness,

A feeling of celestial bliss,

A feeling of unrequited warmth.

Chocolate is my drug.

It has fueled wars within me;

It is extremely craved and eaten greedily;

It changes my view of life.

Eat my chocolate, I will devour your soul.

Receive a gift of chocolate, take a part of my heart.

Melt chocolate, my feelings are warm.

Dispose of chocolate, my respect is lost for you forever.

Chocolate is my life.

My Other Half

Give me something that’ll change me.

Give me something that’ll make me.

I need my other half.

I want to be whole.

Give me someone that’ll love me.

Give me someone that’ll stand right next to me.

I need them to love.

I want them by my side.

Give me somewhere like a home.

Give me somewhere where I belong.

I want to have a haven.

I need a place to fit right in.

Dreams and Wishes

Tendrils of mist envelop my body

In the darkness of the late night air.

The sky blazes with the subdued hues

Of dreams long since withered.

In the fields, the clouds overshadow

The light of an already faint moon.

As dreams grow, the shadows

Quickly smother them to extinction.

The clouds pass and the moon falls

Beneath the arid fields of darkness;

Rays of light puncture the shroud

And the sun rises and starts life anew.

The fields grow with desires and wishes,

Newly sowed dreams sprout amongst the rocks.

Wishes fruit on the vines that grow

They drop and get carried away by feathered wings.

5/28/10

Tomorrow, a new road is opening to me. Or should I say “roads”? That’s right – I’m gonna be getting my permit. Then I can drive anywhere (after 6 months practice and the road test)! But I’m afraid that I’ll crash into other cars and kill myself in the process. I think that I may be just a little bit too careful… Who am I kidding? I’m afraid of everything. Mostly because of the pain. Pain and I do not mix well at all. Here’s a poem by one of my most favorite poets of all time – Emily Dickinson:

Pain has an element of blank;

It cannot recollect

When it began, or if there were

A day when it was not.

It has no future but itself,

Its infinite realms contain

Its past, enlightened to perceive

New periods of pain.

That’s true; pain is only there if you feel and acknowledge it. If you don’t pay it any attention, it’s not there. If only life’s other little worries would just as easily disappear. Pain affects me greatly because I tend to over think everything. And then I over think my over thinking, which leads me into an ever greater mess. I envy those people who haven’t a care in their heads. Oh how I wish I could be like that one day. Moving on…

Love Poem

I wrote this a few months back. I never was able to use it, but hopefully I will use it soon!

—

What must I do… If I believe I love you?

For two long years I have watched and thought.

For two long years I have done nothing.

What would you do if I said, “I love you?”

Would you smack me and break my heart?

Or would you really care and show love back to me?

Would I ever stand a chance?

The first time I talked to you,

My heart skipped and fluttered in my chest.

I stumbled through words when you came near.

So I throw my heart out to you through these verses

Hoping you will read

“Would you ever accept me…

As me?”

I Want

I want a piano.

I want a car.

I want a trampoline.

I want to travel.

I want a job.

I want to succeed.

I want a great house.

I want a perfect family.

I want to be a chef.

I want to be rich.

I want a stable future.

I want to live.

I want to be seen.

I want to change people.

I want to become known.

I want to change the world.

I need money.

I need dedication.

I need time.

I need support.

Worthless

Nobody would miss me.

Nobody would care.

Nobody would notice

If I wasn’t there.

Nobody would cry.

Nobody would think twice.

People would think it

Even be nice.

People would stop

And continue on their way.

Not even notice

That I wasn’t there today.

I don’t mind it.

I don’t mind at all.

You can just stand there

And watch me fall.

I don’t mind it.

I don’t care one bit.

Just pull back;

Give me that one last hit.

I’m just a piece.

A pawn in chess.

One move of the wrist;

I’m a mess.

The Road

Long ago I started on this road;

The twisting, winding, turning road.

I wanted to get to my destination,

But I always took the wrong path.

Sometimes even the wrong turns

Can help you gain something important

Which will help you on your way.

Even so, they are still wrong turns.

I took every possible path

And learned and acquired many new things

But even those never helped me

Find the right way to my objective.

I’m still continuing on my way.

I have a long distance to go

If I want to reach the goal.

Someday…